THE MESSIAH RETURNED IN BEAVER FORM AND BROUGHT 83 SPOTLESS TOILETS WITH HIM
Eighty-three toilets, every one flushed, every floor dry, staff moving through the room with the grim purpose of a Secret Service detail. Cintas named it America's Best Restroom in 2012. The Correspondent considers that an understatement bordering on slander.
SCORE: 5 plungers. The entire building.
(Facts: the New Braunfels store has 83 toilets and won Cintas' America's Best Restroom contest in 2012. Sources: fmlink.com and texasmonthly.com.)